Hey guys & gals, I didn’t expect to be writing this the very next day. I actually didn’t expect to be writing it at all, I thought I said it all in yesterday’s anti-BL tirade… But as my wife condensed this dragged out 2 hour show into a mere 45 minutes before she went to work (Tivo of course, are you out of your MIND?), they managed to load me up with enough told-ya-so for at least one more blog.

So guess what happened on last night’s show? I’ll give you two clues. It involves and overweight person, and a knee… LOL YOU GOT IT! One of the dudes hurt their knee during one of the challenges, and of course, screamed his ASS off all northeast American style at one of the other girls in the house saying “I CAN’T RUN! GET IT!? GET IT!? I JUST CAN’T RUN!!!”. Well crap man, he should have read my blog and saved hiself that waddle and bottle of Percoset. I was just pissed that he aimed that nonsensical explosion at his poor partner and not at his crackpot trainer. My guess is because it would be easier to make her cry for TV, and was probably afraid Jilian would beat his tired ass. Like Mustratboy said, it seems the whole world loves to see these people cry and laugh and cry and laugh and…

On the team aspect, they booted the oldest dude on the team, who was the actual guy who PICKED them all to be on his team. Then he went on this rant about how he believes in loyalty and respect and they wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him, and he comes from a different time. HAHAHA! Come on dude… My answer would have been “Dude, it’s a game… Do you bitch like that when someone wipes you out in Monopoly?” And YES, you are from a different time, when television was only worried about the damage Elvis was doing to us by shaking his ass on television, bet ya never thought it would get this bad huh? But, he had the least weight left to lose on the team, so everyone else could care less, he’s just a lightweight, and needed to go. (What’s with me and Elvis lately?) Coming on to a Survivor-like expulsion show, talking about loyalty… Goofball.

So there you go. One day after I blog about how bad they are beating these people’s knees up on this tv turd, a guy gets hurt. God, I hope I didn’t throw a whammy, that’s not cool.

Hopefully there will be no need to make this article series a trilogy, but we’ll see what happens…

And BTW, GO SAMMI! We don’t care how you screwed over Austin anymore, we’re over it at this point. Keep on with your bad-loser-hostin’-self!

Love -n- stuff,

Right Brain

Ok, this one goes out to my wife, who loves this idiotic piece of ENTERTAINMENT…

Yup, that’s right, I said “entertainment”, and I meant it. This show is based off of bad science, and I’m sick of wanting to go all Elvis on my expensive widescreen every time this turd is on my set. Let me ’splain Lucy.

This show’s goofy producers find these poor morbidly obese people, and then put them through the ringer with a trainer, who beats the tar out of them daily, and tries to teach them to eat correctly, which leads to bitch numero uno:

1. These people are getting their bodies used to an exercise regimen that:

a. No one can possibly continue if they have a normal life, after they win or are booted off the show.

b. Will cause most of these people to begin to gain weight back when they leave the show.

Given, I understand this is a type of “fat camp”, and they are trying to give these people some propulsion to live the rest of their life healthy. But I also think they are at a critical point in their lives, when they are truly making the decision to live healthy, and should be brought in more gently, and with a higher expectation of consistency, which is really what it’s all about in the weight loss game.

Now, the next problem is the stupidity of some of these workouts. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the trainers on the show for some reason, they are cool characters with taut little cartoon bodies, excellent motivation. But here’s the problem. Take a 500 lb dude. His bones, and specifically his knees and hips are taking a beating just moving him to the bathroom to pee. This is not a joke, our knees aren’t built for this. Now, amplify that by making him run around on asphalt with a trainer on his back. If these little trainers weight 130 lbs (I’m talking about Jillian here in case you are wondering) We’re talking about 630 lbs of weight, standing STILL. I don’t even know what the math is to compute the impact force of these people trying to RUN on a hard surface on their knees, but man, it’s easy to guess it’s way over what human knees were ever made to deal with. So exposing bitch #2:

2. These people are abusing their bodies, at their trainers behest. Use your head people. Replacing knees and hip joints later in life is not going to be fun. Back off on the nonsense, keep these people on super low impact exercises. Go get some advice from an orthopedic specialist, and do it right.

Those two are just small gripes compared to this next one, which for me really is the deal breaker. This is why I think this show is complete trash and should be taken off the air.

When you exercise and eat correctly, and you are overweight, two things begin to happen. You begin to put ON more lean muscle mass, and you LOSE fat. My emphasis is on putting ON lean muscle.

So lets say Lucy Loser (fake name, get over it) gets her butt mauled by crazy little Bob the trainer, and has been putting her body through some grueling stuff for a few hours a day, and she’s eating good. She puts on a bunch of fuel efficient fat burning muscle, and at the same time, she burns a bunch of nasty fat. Fast forward to weigh day or whatever the heck they call it… Lucy Loser gets on the scale, and it bleep bleep bleep bleeps it’s way through 25 random numbers, before it finally settles on a weight, that is only 2 pounds less than last week. You hear the big “sigh”, tears well up in her eyes as she swears up and down she tried her hardest, the teammates all give her looks of disappointment, and then they show her interview where she continues to crumble in what she believes is her defeat.

Not one person says to her “This is all bullshit. I have this scale over here, come see. It measures the amount of fat on your body AS WELL AS YOUR WEIGHT, because one of those numbers without the other is USELESS. Oh, look, it says you lost 2% of your bodyfat. Your body composition is completely different than it was last week, you actually lost more fat than %50 of these other people who had bigger WEIGHT numbers, and YOU are a healthier winner, not a loser, stop crying, and keep kickin’ ass in the coming week.”

So there you have it. My monster gripe about the show:

3. There is no attention paid to overall body composition, just “weight loss”, which means zilch on it’s own.

Now I know better, so I blame the producers. They probably think it’s just too complicated to get all that involved, I mean TWO numbers instead of ONE would just turn the show into something only Stephen Hawking could understand, and none of us has the time that he has to sit around and think about two numbers. Seriously.

Overall, I think it’s great that America is getting more health conscious. Teaching them bad science behind it is just bunk, and setting people up for unwarranted failures and depression. Booooo on you loser producers.

Oh ya, one last lesser bitch…

4. Stop throwing people off the show. I know you need drama, but damn, it’s a feel-good show. Let them stay, keep the teams together, and let them battle it out until the end. Why is there always this F’in “Survivor” need to get rid of people? To hell with that old formula already, move forward, be a little progressive.

Oh, that’s right. It IS television, what the hell was I thinking?