Ok. Here’s the deal. Lando betrays Solo. Solo is frozen. As Solo’s super-size candy bar lookin’ tomb is being wheeled out to Boba’s Dad’s car, old Chewie is busy choking Lando to death. Chewie knows who Vader is, and he knows that Vader had Lando by the chones (you can’t frell with the hand of Vader), but instead of listening to what he had to say, Chewie decides to waste those few precious moments available to choke Lando. What’s he saying as you’re crushing his larynx? ha…? (gasp) gah…(gasp) gatta have a sweet Colt 45!??!?? WHAT!??! …hahm? (gasp) han? (like, of course he’s not saying “Han” as in “Han Solo”, the guy this whole to-do is about.) OH I THINK HE’S SAYING HAN! Revelation.

Excellent choice wookie.

The heroes arrive just in time to see the cart going in the door of the Slave I. Chewie groans loudly WHOOOOPPPS… (ok, a little less consonanty) Bastards. They froze Solo.

Which leads to the next question.

Had they gotten there in time, could Chewbacca even come close to taking Boba Fett? I mean, I know in all those wacky novels, there has to be some history about Boba’s training, and at the very least we know his clone father(?) really whooped some ass. There were also a bunch of random soldiers around on both sides, and I think Lobot was there, and I bet some landing port security, don’t hold me to that though… They would have had their numbers d10′ed towards the outcome as well.

Bottom line, Chewie let his emotions get the best of him… Yoda was friends with the Wookies, one would think they were at least semi-versed in basic Buddhist principles. Bummer Chewie, you could have saved us all a trip to Tatooine…

But that would mean no metal-clad bikini’d Leia. Phlarg… Solo really took one for the team though, and dang those Buddhists and their moderation, they’re always right.

xoxo

Right-Brain